A Square Shaped Circle: The Paradox of Right Effort
"What's your good news?" this meeting, starting the same way every client meeting has started. While one of the most interesting aspects of each client call, this is not about that exercise. It's about the commonality, that comes during that exercise.
"I don't know, I don't really have any good news, not today" -he replied.
It's staggering how often I get this response from clients, and even more staggering is the ease in which they can say this, compared with how difficult it is for them to share something positive. I could profess why that comes to be, but let's continue the story instead.
Completely jumping the agenda he and I have maintained together for over a year, he dug in. "We are so far off course with this quarters goals, the team doesn't seem to care, nor understand, [wife] is wholly unsupportive of the stress I'm under at work, and that this whole lifestyle she loves is contingent on these goals, and during all this, everyone just seems to think I'll just figure it out, meanwhile I haven't slept in days" -he continued.
Normally I'd shut this down to get back on track and discuss it later in the call, but it was clear, today this is what he needed someone to hear. God knows, I've been there too, everything bottled up, no one to relate.
The Right Effort Paradox
But the problem here, isn't the timeline of the calls, the emotional support the client needed, or even the problems he espoused in his admission.
The real problem here, is that we conflate struggle with effort. In fact, even reading that might have confused you.
We focus energies on goals that are impossible, or where the means to bring about our goals are entirely out of our hands. Relegating effort to a form of strain, force, push, and sheer will.
But, this is a problem of view, more than it is effort. Even as I write this, I struggle because I fear I'll lose you right away. I, me, we, are all born from a similar subset of humans who appreciate the value of hard things. We know, and believe, that where most give up, we are just getting started, and to that end most of us are incredibly proud of our ability to exert ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally.
But, let that sink in. Read it again. Then, contrast it against your current reality, and the reason you would likely find yourself on my calendar.
Burnout, stress, overwhelm, apathy, dissatisfaction, exhaustion, confusion, perplexity, etc, all outcomes from the same inputs.
The 600-Pound Barbell
Let me propose a different scenario of will, and force.
I lead you into a dark room, you can smell the rubber, hear the echoes, before I turn on the lights, you know it's a gym of sorts, you have spent lots of time in one. I explain to you, when I turn on these lights, there will be a clear task present in front of you. You have to complete it and your dreams come true, all of them. "Flick" the room comes into view, and there it is. A bar, on the floor, loaded with 600#, far more than you can lift, but, as promised, life is on the other side of this task. Because right in front of it, is a platform, clearly stating, the bar belongs there. "I'll leave you to it" as I walk out of the room.
Months later, I return, and there you are, still addressing your Sisyphean task like Milo himself. Grunting, straining pulling, and planning. You have inferred a plan that looks like methodical applied effort each day, attempting to increase your strength over time, because the reward is clearly worth it. I can see this clearly laid out on the whiteboard next to you. Commendable, I smile and walk out.
In the room next to yours the same test took place, except, it's been long completed. She, unlike you though had no gym experience, but, the same bar. So when I walked in that first time, and saw the bar resting neatly on the platform it belonged, I smiled and granted her wish. Because I knew exactly what happened. She didn't choose effort, she chose to look at it different. And so she did, and immediately began disassembling the bar. Unlike you, she has no experience, so it didn't even occur to her to try to lift it, she wouldn't even had known where to start.
And here we all sit, with loaded bars of one sort or another in front of us, exerting effort on it in the way that's most familiar to us. But perhaps what's needed is to get unfamiliar.
Effort has played a valuable role in much of our lives, especially the straining type. But that doesn't inherently mean it has a place in all of our lives. Yet, for most clients I first meet, it's pretty clear, we believe it does.
Right View Before Right Effort
When right effort aligns with right view, enlightenment often happens. In fact, it's a tenant of the Buddhist eightfold path. But this isn't about religion and philosophy.
It's about how we willingly choose to see, and construct the world around us. For most of us, a stranger doesn't put the 600lb bar in front of us, we do. We Dunning-Kruger effect our way into over estimating our ability, and if I'm being honest, we do it on purpose because in all of us is a quirk that thinks we need to sign up for suffering in order to be successful.
It's just that in every hallmark case where it finally all goes right for that entrepreneur, that moment is way easier than all the others leading up to it. Right product, right pitch, right process, etc, and it all clicks. They usually just take the bar apart and reassemble it, while the rest of us, keep trying to pull it from the floor.
The Distraction-Action-Traction Continuum
This struggle-as-effort mindset sits directly at the heart of what I call the Distraction-Action-Traction Continuum. Most of us live in the Action phase - we're busy, we're working, we're putting in effort. But we're not necessarily creating meaningful progress toward our goals.
Distraction is the sickness phase - characterized by reactive decision-making, constant firefighting mode, and focus on yesterday's problems. There's high activity but low progress. This is where my client was when he broke down about his quarterly goals.
Action is the wellness phase - you have basic systems in place, consistent work is being done, there's some forward momentum. But you're still primarily reactive with limited strategic thinking. You're doing "the work" but often the wrong work, or work in the wrong way.
Traction is the fitness phase - where there's clear vision and direction, intentional decision-making, focus on future growth, and high productivity with measured progress. This is where the woman who disassembled the barbell was operating from.
The key difference? It's not about working harder—it's about working with greater intention.
The Square Shaped Circle
The title of this piece—A Square Shaped Circle—is deliberately paradoxical. It represents the impossible standard we often set for ourselves: trying to force incompatible realities together through sheer will.
We attempt to:
Create from a place of depletion
Build long-term value while fixating on short-term crises
Lead others while neglecting self-leadership
Achieve freedom through methods that enslave us
Find simplicity by adding complexity
These are square shaped circles—paradoxes we try to resolve through effort alone when what they really require is a shift in perspective.
My client who couldn't find good news was trying to square a circle. He was applying maximum effort to a situation that fundamentally required a different approach. He was trying to lift a 600-pound barbell instead of considering whether it could be disassembled.
Above and Below the Line
Another framework that helps illuminate this paradox is what I call "Above and Below the Line" thinking. Below the line is where we operate from threat, scarcity, and reaction. Above the line is where we operate from opportunity, abundance, and intention.
When we're below the line, we:
See problems instead of possibilities
Focus on what we lack instead of what we have
React to circumstances instead of creating them
Attribute challenges to external factors
Experience life as happening to us
When we're above the line, we:
See possibilities within problems
Focus on resources available rather than missing
Create circumstances instead of reacting to them
Take responsibility for challenges
Experience life as happening through us
My client who couldn't find good news was deeply below the line. His language revealed it: everyone else didn't care, didn't understand, wasn't supportive. The world was happening to him, not through him.
The irony is that his effort to lift his metaphorical 600-pound barbell—to force his team to care, to make his wife understand, to achieve impossible quarterly goals through sheer force of will—was keeping him firmly below the line, where solutions remain invisible.
The Intelligent Reflection
One tool I use with clients to shift from struggle-as-effort to view-before-effort is something I call Intelligent Reflection. It's a structured way of looking back to see forward.
The process involves three key questions:
What am I trying to achieve? (The true outcome, not the task)
What view am I currently taking? (How am I seeing this challenge?)
What alternative views might reveal different approaches? (What if I saw this differently?)
Let me demonstrate with my client's situation:
True outcome: Business growth that supports quality of life (not just hitting arbitrary quarterly numbers)
Current view: "I must push harder to make everyone else care as much as I do and work as hard as I do to hit these targets."
Alternative views:
What if the quarterly targets themselves need recalibration?
What if the team's apparent lack of care reflects unclear communication rather than apathy?
What if my wife's "lack of support" is actually concern for my well-being?
What if success could come with less struggle rather than more?
This reflection often reveals that we've been trying to lift the barbell intact when disassembling it was always an option.
The Practical Shift: From Action to Traction
So how do we move from struggle-based action to intentional traction? From trying to lift the impossible to finding the elegant solution? Here are practical shifts that make the difference:
1. Redefine Success
Success isn't measured by how hard you work, but by what you actually achieve. This seems obvious until you realize how many of us unconsciously measure our worth by our exhaustion rather than our impact.
2. Question Your Constraints
Most constraints are self-imposed. The instruction "get the barbell on the platform" contains no requirement to lift it intact. What assumed constraints are limiting your approach?
3. Seek Simplicity, Not Complexity
The most elegant solutions are often the simplest. We tend to complicate challenges because complexity justifies our struggle. What's the simplest possible approach?
4. Value Effectiveness Over Effort
The quality of your results matters more than the quantity of your effort. Are you measuring progress by sweat or by outcomes?
5. Practice Strategic Stopping
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop what you're doing. Pause, step back, and reassess when you find yourself straining without progress.
The Integration of Effort and View
I'm not suggesting effort doesn't matter. It absolutely does. But right effort follows right view—not the other way around.
When my client finally paused and reassessed, he realized several things:
The quarterly goals that seemed non-negotiable were actually arbitrary
His team didn't lack care—they lacked clarity
His wife wasn't unsupportive—she was concerned
His sleepless nights weren't evidence of commitment but of ineffectiveness
With this new view, his efforts changed dramatically. Instead of pushing harder on the same approaches, he:
Recalibrated targets based on current reality
Involved his team in solution-finding rather than just execution
Communicated clearer expectations with specific requests
Created boundaries around work to protect his well-being
The outcomes? Within a month, the team was performing better, his relationship with his wife had improved, and he was sleeping again. Not because he found superhuman strength to lift his 600-pound barbell, but because he realized he could disassemble it.
The Choice Point
This brings us to the choice point we all face daily: Will we continue straining against our self-imposed impossible standards? Or will we pause, reassess, and find the view that reveals a different path?
This isn't about lowering standards or avoiding challenges. It's about distinguishing between:
Productive struggle that builds capacity
Unnecessary suffering that depletes it
Between:
Working hard on the right things
Working hard on the wrong things
Between:
Moving along the Distraction-Action-Traction Continuum
Getting stuck in Action without ever reaching Traction
The Buddhist concept of Right Effort doesn't mean straining harder. It means applying appropriate energy in alignment with Right View. It means knowing when to push and when to pause, when to lift and when to disassemble, when to strive and when to surrender.
The paradox is that the less we force, the more we accomplish. The less we strain, the more we achieve. Not because effort doesn't matter, but because the right view reveals which efforts actually matter.
The Practice
So where do you start? With these three practices:
1. Daily Perspective Check
Before diving into work each day, ask: "Am I seeing this situation completely? What perspectives might I be missing?"
2. Effort-to-Impact Assessment
Regularly evaluate which efforts are creating meaningful progress and which are merely creating busyness.
3. The Simplicity Challenge
For any challenge you're facing, ask: "What would this look like if it were simple?" Then work backward from that vision.
The Invitation
I invite you to examine where in your life you might be trying to create square shaped circles—impossible standards you're trying to meet through sheer force of will. Where are you trying to lift a 600-pound barbell that could be disassembled?
Remember: The journey from distraction to traction isn't about working harder—it's about working with greater intention. By understanding where you are on the continuum and implementing the right tools and frameworks, you can move from being busy to being truly productive.
The key is remembering that every action either moves you toward your vision or keeps you spinning your wheels. Choose wisely, act intentionally, and maintain focus on your ultimate destination.
You can't build tomorrow's dream by solving yesterday's problems. And you can't create a circle by forcing a square harder. Sometimes, the solution isn't more effort—it's a different view.
Find Your Path to Traction
Are you caught in cycles of struggle that leave you exhausted but not meaningfully progressing? At Paradigm Collective, we help high-achievers distinguish between productive effort and unnecessary struggle through our "Right View, Right Effort" methodology.
Our approach doesn't ask you to work harder—it helps you work with greater intention. Through our guided process, you'll learn to identify where you're trying to "lift the 600-pound barbell" and develop the perspective shifts that reveal simpler, more effective approaches.
Ready to move from Action to Traction? Schedule a Perspective Assessment where we'll help you identify your current position on the Distraction-Action-Traction Continuum and develop a personalized strategy for creating meaningful progress with less struggle.