Breaking the Pattern: When Life Feels Like a Video Game Level You Can't Beat
And then it happens.
Again.
Three years in, 5, maybe 10, or just on repeat. At some point — especially in business, but also in life — you find yourself in a situation with a familiar feeling:
“We've been here before.”
Perhaps the bottom of a boom-and-bust cycle in revenue. Team turnover. Turmoil at home. Plateau in profession. Etc. Or, maybe everything everywhere all at once. That's how it seems to happen for me.
Pattern or Coincidence?
Is this pattern or is this coincidence? Is this just a case of familiarity so you correlate it? Or is it the result of a repeated subconscious behavior?
It could be any or all of the above. But generally, at least in my work, it's less coincidence and more behavior.
It often looks and feels a lot like repeating a level in a video game. You’ve played it dozens of times. You get a little better each time, but you still end up dying and restarting back at the beginning. Life, less comically, works in much this way.
Your behaviors make up most of your choices in the level. Left, right, jump, dodge, etc. But if you keep facing a similar problem, somewhere a move isn't quite right yet. And so you respawn. Again and again.
The Comfort of Familiar Levels
Most people reach a level where they just quit. They’ve had enough, and they kind of live in that level forever. It has everything they need, and the challenge and unknown of the next is just too insurmountable. So they relent.
But if you're reading this, you likely aren't done with your level yet. So, how do you get past it?
The answer is simple, not easy: Awareness.
The intricacies and complexities of human behavior can be very deceptive and elusive. The very nature of them being subconscious means that they are exactly that — out of consciousness. And were it not for repeating situations, they could go wholly unnoticed. But lucky for you, you keep screwing this thing up.
Chasing the Tail
So you chase the tail, starting first at the head (the problem) and working backward from there. Stopping along the way at decisions and actions until you find one that's oddly familiar.
Perhaps it was a period of fatigue. Or success. Or challenge. And you reacted, rather than operating with intention.
For obvious reasons, this can be hard work to do alone. This is where a coach comes in. Because they just watch and observe. And a good one sees patterns and says, "Hey, you're doing that thing again. Why?"
Without a coach, you have to do this shadow work yourself.
The Shadow Work
It's called “shadow work” because that’s precisely what it is. The stuff you do in your shadows. Not in the light. The things we do that sabotage.
“Why would I sabotage myself?” You’re probably thinking.
You wouldn't. Not consciously, not maliciously. But that's not why we do it. We sabotage in an effort to replicate what we know — even if it's negative.
Our subconscious only operates on familiarity. Constants. It does not like unknowns, because it doesn't know how to keep you safe in them. So yes, to the subconscious, recreating a pattern of known negative circumstances is favorable to the unknown of positive ones.
Luckily, and elegantly, simply shining a light on the root behavior is, in most cases, the antidote. Because you are right: You don't intentionally want to cause yourself harm.
The Hero's Journey
Which brings us to the good news.
You're the hero in this story. You just have to realize you’ve also played the villain all this time. But as in a good superhero movie, the villain turns good in this story and saves the day.
It's not until you see this storyline, though. Until then, we all feel and act like the innocent victim. A victim of life's circumstance and events. We believe life happens to us, rather than for us.
The truth is, life happens because of our creation.
Change how you see the world, and the world around you changes.
Level Up Your Awareness
Are you tired of replaying the same challenging level in your business, career, or personal life? At Paradigm Collective, we specialize in helping high-achievers identify the subconscious patterns that keep them stuck in repetitive cycles.
Our "Pattern Interrupt" program provides the structured awareness needed to illuminate your shadow behaviors and transform them into intentional choices. Through our specialized coaching methodology, we help you identify exactly where your "game controls" are creating the same outcomes, and how to reprogram them for advancement.
Ready to finally beat this level? Schedule a Pattern Discovery Session where we'll help you identify your recurring cycles and create a custom strategy to break through to your next level of achievement.