Eyes On: Learning as the Ultimate Advancement

All advancement is advancement. As a species, we are driven by our will to succeed. I have written about this quite a bit over the last posts: There is no shortage of goal-setting conversations to have, and a quick Google search will return more than enough to occupy you for a millennium.

Goal-setting is a bit of a buzzword, and maybe even a distraction — because as it turns out, we’re learning every day, and that is also advancement. Yet most of us have a defeatist notion about ourselves as it applies to our goals, likely far more aware of the ones we did not complete than the ones we did. It's no surprise, then, that so many of us feel lost with our goals.

The Confidence-Learning Connection

Learning is a goal, and it's likely a part of every goal, so maybe learning is the penultimate goal. As it turns out, confidence is more closely related to your ability to learn than it is to your perception of self-worth. That's science talking, as the research on that is vast and clear: Confident humans are not a measure of successes, but simply their confidence in their ability—and ability is most closely linked to learning. If you did not deem yourself capable of learning, as many do not, you will not likely consider yourself capable of much, except maybe that which you already know. To move forward in life is to learn.

Learning has just become a bad word to most of us, largely due to the traumatic decade of life spent desk-bound in school where we were anything but celebrated learners. Instead, we were all taught that we were failures of retention. So let's be clear on one thing: School is not learning. The acquisition of skill — any skill, regardless of where you acquired it — is learning.

The School of Hard Knocks

I was a terrible student in pretty much every conceivable way.

Not at first — in those first few, more flexible years of school, I was gifted. So much so that I was offered, like many students, the chance to "skip a grade.” Thankfully my mother declined that. It was once I got to the more rigid years — sixth grade and onward — that things went downhill. 

Most consider these the distractible years, and few credit the institution with the problem. Instead, it's puberty, attention, social status that get vilified — and I was the poster child. I acted out and broke every known rule, and frankly, I didn't care. I had a laminated pass to the principal's office with my name on it (truly, that was a thing).

I learned that I didn't like learning, and that I was a "bad kid." This, for no other reason, became a badge of honor — and my identity. Quickly, I became much worse. Fighting, fleeing, you name it. I missed 88 days of school in 8th grade (I wouldn’t even call myself a student). My most honorable accomplishment in high school? I graduated without Course 1 Math (what even is that?), and I took every "shop" class the school offered. I even taught the school's electronics class.

Yet, here I am, writing blogs and posts about how you can get better. The system would have rather seen me institutionalized than succeed. If I'm honest, I let them make me believe that as well. I had little hope — and honestly, that was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Learning My Way

After those troubled years, there was only one option: If I was going to do anything, it was going to be my way. I wasn't going to get accepted into college, I wouldn't then get the "dream job," and well, all the rest of the "dreams" fell apart there, too. I was gonna have to figure out my own path.

The only skill I had was the ability to learn skills. Despite what school had taught me — that I was a terrible learner and student; a failure — I couldn't accept that reality once on my own, for that would mean I was doomed to fail. Luckily, my other skill was spite, and I was driven not to succeed, but to prove them all wrong.

At the time, I was still too young and distracted to realize what was happening. I was learning while others were following. I spent my 20s investing in myself while others invested in their careers. At 30, I had a host of skills, while most had only the ability to succeed in their jobs. This is not a maligning of those others, but rather of the system that failed us all. I just failed it so badly that I had no choice. Had I been any more successful (by the system’s standards), I would have been comfortably ingrained, and as such, wouldn't have found the love of learning — the confidence in capability.

The irony, of course, is that I went back in to save everyone I could. Here I am, decades later, helping people relearn what school taught them to forget: how to learn and love doing it. This is not to come off as better than anyone. I was a misspent youth — through my 20s and even some of my 30s. I chose the hard way, and it was not a smooth road. 

The Learning Mindset

I tell this whole story because many doubt their ability to and/or interest in learning. I hope that by telling you that if the screw-up can do it, you can, too.

And I tell you my story to remind you of the similarity: only you can do it. Most of you have a huge headstart too. But a life without learning becomes a life that stops burning. The number one cause of "burnout" in life is lack of learning. This comes as little surprise, as most things are not learning at all, but following. Rules, systems, procedures—life for most is very rigid. However, you are a business owner. You have no choice but to learn.

So how did a degenerate like me, who grew up poor, failed throughout school, and was deemed least likely to succeed, become a millionaire, own multiple businesses, and grow great teams? I didn't follow the system; I learned instead.

Many of us who make it into business find ourselves out to sea, truly unprepared for it. Totally outside of our comfort zones, out of our elements. The path into business is really very easy: a dollar and a dream. The path through business is anything but, because the strengths we were taught — like retaining information and following systems, rules, and the like — do not move us forward in business or in life. Luckily, the ability to learn is innate to all humans, regardless of what school made you believe. If I can become a millionaire, anyone can. You just have to learn how, not know how.

The Three Keys to Powerful Learning

Learning takes 3 key steps. To learn anything that's worth learning, it must be real, observable, and time-sensitive. If what you learn has these three things, I can almost guarantee you will crush it.

1. Make It Real

So what does real look like? Real is that it must be attainable, it must be valuable, necessary, identifiable. Real looks like a stretch goal, something that is scary and audacious, but has clearly been identified as your impediment to advancement. What stands in the way must become the way. Real means it's real, and it's likely very much in your way—in your way of success, possibly. It could also be in the way of how you want to view yourself; maybe you are bad with money. It could be a measure of identity: if you see yourself as a pilot, you are gonna have to do pilot things.

When learning becomes real, it's not just a novelty; it's a necessity. This is the first important step. Many people are trying to learn a lot of things, but they aren't "real" to them, and they generally lose interest. This solidifies their belief they are a bad "learner"—you aren't. You are just a bad identifier. Make the skill real, make it necessary.

2. Make It Observable

Where things become real, and frankly the stage that gets overlooked if not avoided, is in step two: make it observable. Learning is messy, and people don't generally like looking dumb, so avoiding public failure is generally ideal. As such, everyone is trying to succeed in silence. Which, if you are doing so out of modesty, I commend you. However, I—and you—both know better: we favor the silence to stay out of the spotlight so when this goes up in flames, it will be our little secret.

If you are going to advance, you gotta make it observable. Luckily, this does not inherently mean broadcast each day as a story on social. The easiest, most repeatable way is much simpler: get a coach. Particularly someone unbiased. What makes us different than most other "coaches" out there is we are unbiased. We have no interest in teaching you any one thing; instead, we only care about improving anything you do.

You don't necessarily need to hire a professional coach like us, although it's simpler and safer. You can do it by involving someone other than yourself. An easy way to make something observable is, upon making it real (as in, it stands in your way), communicate that to someone who is close to you—for example, wife or husband. Inform them of your intention, but make it also for them. By making it bigger than yourself, you are far more likely to succeed, as well as be observed.

3. Make It Time-Sensitive

Time-sensitive is likely the most obvious of the three, but by far the most comically overlooked. Most of us can make something real, and then claim to be accountable to it, but my favorite question to ask clients is: "When will it be complete?" They become deer in headlights.

Deadlines are heavy; everyone wants to learn or acquire, but without a hard start and stop, it's only just a wish. The duration of time does not matter—it can be a day or a decade. What matters is that it has a clear end date. By this date. Is that scary? Yes. That's why it's important. We aren't creatures of failure; we are creatures of laziness. Giving something a deadline means we will almost certainly complete it, but it's going to take work, and we don't like that. Which is why it's almost always avoided in learning. If it's worth it, observe it, and time it.

The Power of Having "Eyes On"

The point of all of this is not to overwhelm you with how to learn, but to remind you of your confidence and ability to learn. The world strips us of it. We are reminded each day what we are failures at, far more than we recognize what we are good at. Furthermore, we eventually forget that we can learn altogether, and as such, there are a lot of people walking about who think they simply are what they are, incapable of learning to be anything they want.

Identity is moldable, reality is changeable, learning is the medium that makes it all possible. To be able to learn is to be in control of your future. Without it, you are simply reacting.

The unique part of my story is one I left out. All of my identity and reality was only possible because I found the power of coaches. I didn't have the ignorance of education to believe I had all the answers. Because I had failed the system, I had to find any advantage I could. Coaches were the easiest and most available option. Which is what made me a coach today.

Great coaches do not teach; they do not preach; they simply observe and improve. I hope you find a great coach in your journey, and we would love to be that for you. However, if not us, find someone. Having eyes on is not about oppression; it's about opportunity and capability. They will bring out the most in you because they make you confident in your ability to learn.

Be confident in your ability to learn, and you can change the rules of every game you play.

Unlock Your Learning Potential

Are you ready to reclaim your innate ability to learn? To move beyond the limiting beliefs that school, society, or past failures have placed on you? At Paradigm Collective, we specialize in helping entrepreneurs and high-performers rediscover their natural learning capabilities.

Our signature "Eyes On" coaching program brings structure to your learning journey by ensuring your goals are real, observable, and time-sensitive. We don't teach you what to learn—we help you remember how to learn anything you need to advance your business and life.

Ready to transform how you learn? Schedule a Learning Assessment where we'll identify your current learning blocks and create a customized framework that reignites your confidence in acquiring any skill necessary for your success.

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